If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think my tv is drunk
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
