Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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