brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
