careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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