All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I have aggressive nipples.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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