Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
