Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
