im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
