Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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