It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
