two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
