had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
