I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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