mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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