I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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