I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
