please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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