Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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