I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
