i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
