i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize