you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
