I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
