Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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