remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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