Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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