you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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