Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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