how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize