No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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