i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
