peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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