No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
