I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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