They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
