Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
