fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
