Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize