I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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