I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
