it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
