Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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