Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
