I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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