If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
