We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize