Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
