So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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