According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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