Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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