garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
