At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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