I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
there is puke in my bra ... again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
