some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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