i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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