I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
