Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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