That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
