You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
