everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
